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Do you not want the same dream as everyone else?

But what are you going to do with your life if you don't?!


So you’re in your 30’s and most of your friends seem to have it all planned out. They’re either buying houses or planning weddings and the one’s having kids seem to have it figured out the most. You can’t really get more set if you choose to have a family!


But you’re not sure YOU want the same things? You might be in a relationship but the thought of a big white wedding, a house, starting a family….it doesn’t really excite you as much as you think it should? And the thought of having the next 20 years of your life mapped out might terrify you a little bit too?


But if you aren’t working towards these milestones and don’t have any big plans…what WILL your life look like? The fact there’s so much unknown means you might struggle to TRUST your path and are worried about your bigger picture.


Firstly… let me reassure you that you’re not an alien or having a mid-life crisis for having these thoughts! Because not everyone DOES want the same thing! It’s normal to want something different for yourself. #therearenorules.



Also, not everyone will want the same level of stability and certainty in their life. We’re all unique. Some people love the fact life will be familiar and quite predictable. Others live for variety and not having a clue where they might be this time next year. So if you’re put off by the general predictability of ‘9-5 dream’…again…there’s nothing wrong with you, it’s normal!


But if you’re reading this then there’s a high chance you’re NOT comfortable just going with the flow. You DO actually prefer more stability. Or working towards goals or some sort of plan makes you feel more at ease? So what can you do about it?


Identifying where YOU sit on the scales is your first step in feeling more assured about your own future.


1 - Ask yourself how you’re feeling right now. For example; I’ve recently felt anxious, overwhelmed and just knowing I’m not my best self. What do you think you need to feel more balanced? I’ve discovered that having more routine in my life makes me feel less anxious. So I’m starting to create changes in my life to GET more structure. Things like a workout schedule and having set days where I work in the city and not at home.


2 - Once you know what your basic daily needs are and where you sweet spot lies, you can start to think about bigger, future plans to try and meet them. So if you’ve discovered you were missing certainty and were feeling a bit lost, can you think of a short-term goal (6months /1year) that excites you but still gives you that sense of structure? What milestones would you have to hit to achieve it? Something like training for a race or if you want more variety and adventure, can you plan an exciting trip away?


Are you someone who’s discovered your ‘fire’ or that feeling of having a bigger purpose? Because no matter what your day job and daily routine is, you’ll then always be able to lean into that bigger sense of legacy. Especially if you don’t think kids are for you.


Again, you'll have that focus and be able to break it down to smaller, tangible milestones like; fundraising for that cause that’s important to you, writing that book or belonging to a wider community where you feel you’re making a difference. For me, supporting women who feel like they’re doing life wrong or are ‘falling behind’ is my fire! I don’t think it is going to be my full time job forever but I know I’m still making an important difference to the world.


But how do you find your fire if you don’t know what it is yet? Follow my IG community and join my FREE newsletter for regular tips and advice on how you can discover this.
 
Or if you’re ready for 1:1 support; my 3 month programme helps you discover your basic needs, your values in life and how to start creating a life that meets them!

Once you FIND your fire and focus, it will also stop you looking at everyone else and feeling so clueless. It will help you TRUST your own path and timeline. TRUST can help you feel less anxious about your lack of plans for your future.


BREATHE! Meditate... do whatever it is that helps regulate your nervous system. Getting out in nature, journaling, yoga… whatever works for YOU! Sit back and try and let go of the CONTROL and figuring it all out.


Please remember that what you want will likely CHANGE! You might even end up wanting marriage and kids too one day. So worrying about not wanting them right now or not knowing what future you wants, is unnecessary energy!


Life will happen for you whether you like it or not. You don’t always need a great master plan.

Check-in with what’s important to you NOW. Because “by keeping the present you happy will mean your future happiness gets taken care of too!” So think smaller, create goals and milestones that makes you excited NOW!

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